It is much more likely that you will be impacted by the societal shift from the CoViD-19 pandemic than by personally catching the virus itself. Survival, then, may mean more than just being CoViD-19 free, but overcoming fear inspired isolation.
Fear and isolation seem to be a more accepted status quo today than it was. Based on what people talk about in conversations I have had, it is taking its toll on society. There are ways to deal with it, but just as overcoming other things, first, there needs to be a recognition of the problem(s) in ourselves.
One of the most common fears for children is fear of the dark. This fear is almost hardwired. It was one of the first things I worked with my children to get over. There would be no nightlight, not ever. Fear, left unchecked, tends to grow just as our imagination. This is because when things are not seen, a lot can be imagined. Alfred Hitchcock was and is still probably considered the master of horror and suspense because he leveraged this concept. He used the power of suggestion and the imagination of the audience to generate the scenes that developed fear in the audience based on what was implied but not shown. A German Proverb says: Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is. It is important to be sympathetic to the fears others have, but with children, good parents will help their child get over them, not letting fear grow.
Here are four more common manifestations of fear that I have observed:
- Some wonder if anything we do will be enough to mitigate risk, fearing what ultimately they have no complete control of. Washing hands raw, scrubbing your Amazon deliveries with gloves on before opening, wearing masks while walking totally alone or alone in the car with the windows up may be a sign of this.
- Some fear others, experiencing information overload, and are skeptical due to an overabundance of opinions reported as factual statistics by those that have no idea what data analytics is or how it is appropriately significant. For these skeptics, a lack of trust and suspicion of authority figures seems logical as blame without solutions encourages distrust in all parties. If you see a high stake information shell game going on, this may be you.
- Some of us have been the victim of fear as a rhetorical device. Fear has been allowed to be reframed by indulging others in that it is ok to be afraid merely because someone does not agree with them and might talk about it. If you find yourself calling someone else names, you disagree with (or wanting to) as though you are a grade-schooler with a good vocabulary, this could be you.
Some are afraid that fear will control us and embrace risk as an act of rebellion as though they were teasing a neighbor’s scary dog through a fence, thinking they are safe by default. They try to prove to themselves that they are not scared of the dog. If you seem to gravitate toward unnecessary risk and discover this (hopefully not) after ‘getting bit,’ this could be you.
(While on a hike and after I almost stepped on it, I took a photo of this rattlesnake from one foot away. It was so beautiful it was hard to resist. I did not get bit by it, but in retrospect, I wonder if this one may describe me as well.)
When we give in to fear, things can be far worse than they are. Best case, people can be more easily manipulated, and worst, it causes people thoughtlessly to trample others or drown loved ones to stay afloat. Fear should not be the basis of decision making, and yet it gets a lot of attention for those who promote it, wrecks economies, sells out products, and, unfortunately, wins elections. Anything that feeds fear is a bad thing (See: The Cherokee story of two wolves).
Fear also brings isolation, which can bring about catastrophic results. People will avoid needed contact with others if they are afraid that puts them at risk or do not feel they can trust them. I have seen family members break off contact with each other even when they need help. Isolation is the gateway to a whole variety of other issues.
People experience a lack of support when they are isolated. Some individuals already have an unhealthy tendency to isolate themselves before CoViD19 but now can have been given a socially acceptable excuse to do so. Some are going through struggles. They have difficulty overcoming depression, anxiety, insecurity, fear, addiction, and feeling hopeless on their own. Ill-equipped, these people are now left to fend for themselves (See: time.com/). Unfortunately, we live in a society the reinforces self-importance and individual perception over reality. This looking inward emphasis can make negative issues snowball.
The best way I have found to overcome overwhelming circumstances and feelings beyond my control is to take the focus off myself. One way to do this would be to reach out to others and encourage them. While you may be going through some tough times, there is always someone else that has it worse than you just like there is always someone else who has it better. Barring toxic relationships, when you help and encourage others, it does make you feel better. It also breaks the unhealthy, negative cycle of self-obsession and inspires others to do the same. If you need help, reach out to people you may be giving them an opportunity to feel better too.
We are all in this. The fear-driven negative societal influences regarding CoVID-19 (and other things) are our real enemy, not each other, or even this disease itself. One thing that we must not do is give in to fear. Franklin D. Roosevelt said it best “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” (See: gmu.edu).
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